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7 Reasons Why Co-Parenting With A Narcissist Is So Hard

7 Reasons Why Co-Parenting With A Narcissist Is So Hard

Coparenting with a narcissist can be an incredibly difficult experience. A narcissist is someone who has an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. As such, it can be incredibly difficult to come to an agreement with them when it comes to raising a child together. In this blog post, we will explore seven of the main reasons why coparenting with a narcissist is so hard.

1) They're manipulative
Narcissists are master manipulators. They are experts at getting what they want and are often successful in making people do things they don’t want to do. They use tactics like guilt, intimidation, and emotional blackmail to try and get their way. In the context of coparenting, this can be particularly difficult as it is already a challenging situation. Narcissists will often try to control the situation, making decisions that are not in the best interests of the children, but in their own interests. This can lead to an unhealthy and unfair dynamic in the co-parenting relationship.

2) They're always right
Narcissists are incredibly stubborn when it comes to their own beliefs and opinions. They will often refuse to budge on any matter, no matter how small. This can make co-parenting especially difficult, as they will never admit to being wrong or even entertaining the idea that another person might have a valid opinion.
It’s important to remember that narcissists believe their point of view is the only one that matters, so trying to engage in healthy debate will only result in them digging their heels in deeper.
In a co-parenting relationship, it’s important to establish rules and boundaries from the start. If the narcissist pushes back against these boundaries, it’s important to remain firm and consistent. Narcissists feed off of drama and chaos, so if you appear too weak or wishy-washy, they may attempt to take advantage of that.
Ultimately, it’s best to accept that the narcissist will always think they’re right, no matter what. You’ll just have to find a way to agree to disagree without resorting to arguing.

3) They have no empathy
Narcissists have an inability to truly understand or empathize with the feelings of others. This makes it nearly impossible to be able to have any sort of meaningful conversations with them. If a person tries to express their feelings to a narcissist, they will often be met with indifference, dismissal, or even ridicule. Narcissists tend to see other people as objects and view them as inferior or irrelevant to their own needs. They lack the capacity to show compassion, kindness, or understanding for what someone else is going through, and this can make co-parenting with them very difficult. Narcissists also lack the ability to connect with their own emotions, which prevents them from being able to connect with the emotions of others. This can make it hard for them to understand how their behavior is impacting those around them. As such, it can be challenging for the other parent to get them to change their behavior in order to make co-parenting easier.

4) They gaslight you
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone makes you doubt your own sanity or judgment. Narcissists are master manipulators, and gaslighting is one of the ways they can control and manipulate you.
When a narcissist gaslights you, they’ll make you question yourself, your reality, and your decisions. They’ll invalidate your emotions and try to convince you that what you’re feeling isn’t real or isn’t valid. They may say things like, “You must be imagining things” or “That never happened.” They’ll also blame their behavior on you, making it seem like it’s your fault or that you should have known better.
This type of manipulation can be very confusing and frustrating, particularly when it comes to co-parenting with a narcissist. It can leave you feeling helpless and unable to make decisions. You might start to doubt your own judgement and feel like you can’t trust yourself. If the narcissist is successful in gaslighting you, they can take away your ability to make decisions or set boundaries with them.
If you’re co-parenting with a narcissist, it’s important to recognize when they’re trying to gaslight you. Remember that your feelings and experiences are valid, no matter what the narcissist tries to tell you. Document your conversations with them and don’t let them undermine your decisions or make you doubt yourself.

5) They're never happy
When you are co-parenting with a narcissist, it is important to remember that they are never truly happy. A narcissist can always find something wrong and will use it to try to manipulate you. It doesn’t matter how much you do, they are never satisfied. They will always be on the lookout for what they perceive as your “faults” and will use them to try to control the situation. They will also never admit when they are wrong, which can make it difficult to move forward in any type of relationship. As a result, it is important to remember that co-parenting with a narcissist can be extremely difficult because they are never truly happy.

6) They are always the victim
Narcissists view themselves as victims. They believe that the world is out to get them, and they are constantly looking for ways to make themselves look like the innocent party in any situation. This makes it difficult for a coparent to build a working relationship, as a narcissist will always be trying to blame the other parent for any issues that arise. They may also be quick to lash out and accuse the other parent of wrongdoing, even if there is no real basis for their claims. This can make it challenging to resolve conflicts and find common ground. Ultimately, this means that coparenting with a narcissist can be extremely draining and difficult, as they are always looking for ways to make themselves look like the victim.

7) You will always be the villain in their story
Narcissists have an uncanny ability to twist reality and make you the villain in their narrative. No matter what the circumstances, they will paint themselves as the victim and you as the aggressor. They will manipulate you into believing that everything is your fault, even when it isn’t. They will twist your words and use them against you. And they will always find a way to make sure that you are the one who is wrong and they are the one who is right.
Co-parenting with a narcissist can be especially difficult because of their tendency to blame you for all of their problems. Even if you try to cooperate and work together, the narcissist may still find a way to make it look like you are the one causing all of the issues. This can be incredibly frustrating, as it feels like no matter how hard you try, you will never be seen as anything but the villain in the narcissist's story.
This can be emotionally exhausting, as it feels like all of your efforts are being wasted and you are never able to get any recognition or appreciation for what you do. It's important to remember that even though you are stuck in this situation, it doesn't have to define who you are or how you feel about yourself. Recognizing and standing up for yourself in these situations is essential, so that you can ensure that you are seen as an equal in the co-parenting relationship.


  • Posted by Alyssa B. on

    This is spot on and very well written! I am so sorry you’re going through this and having to raise the most precious parts of you with such a mentally sick person. Just remember that YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB! You are putting your heart and soul into doing right for your babies…despite this other person. It feels wrong and unfair to you and your precious babies…but those girls will thrive because of you and that beautiful heart of yours. Sending all the love, strength and courage to you and your little family.

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